Frankenstein’s Army

I LOATHE the entire shaky camera school of film making. Nothing is worse than having the most amazing moment in cinematic history ruined “artistic vision” that led to some jittery asshole holding the camera to make up for someone else’s sub par screen writing . Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Quarantine/REC, whatever you pick as your poison if the camera shakes it’s likely going to be an hour and forty five minutes of you time wasted. That said, I had very low expectations for Frankenstein’s Army when I decided to rent it tonight. The cover was elaborately drawn and pretty cool looking which is a dead give away on a straight to DVD release that what you are about to endure is a low budget, poorly directed waste of time, money and your life in general. Follow this up with not only a shaky camera but a historical setting (Soviet/WWII era), oh, my expectations fell to the floor in need of resuscitation.

That, however, is where things started to get good. The story starts off slow, the way a good horror movie should, letting you get to know the characters and their plight a bit, making you sympathize and almost care about them before chopping them to pieces one at a time. We follow a small band of Soviet troops in the later days of the march west towards Berlin. They have a propaganda officer filming them for the folks back home as they head bravely into battle. Their mission is to join with a group of encamped Soviets in a small, undisclosed German town and continue their war against the Nazis. That is where things end horribly.

In the burned out remains of a convent they find charred nuns and an abysmally assembled pile of corpses that kills their commanding officer. They soon discover that a Nazi super weapon in this town has wiped out its inhabitants and that their real mission is to procure it (and as many specimens as possible) for the glory of Mother Russia.

The special effects rely a lot on make up, animatronics and camera angles that surprisingly enough stop being shaky at all the right moments. While the plot isn’t masterful, nor the special effects anything amazing, for a straight to DVD horror movie it was entertaining and fun. If you like watching undead monsters rip apart communists and fascists of all sorts then this is the movie for you.

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I liked this guy most of all. He’s the cover of the movie and a really persistent, entertaining monster. Don’t worry though, if the walking Nazi mosquito doesn’t do it for you, there are plenty of other corpses to choose from. Have a look. It’s still in Redbox, Netflix and on Amazon.

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About Danno

Dan Lee is a horror fiction fiend, freelance writer and photographer living in the outer edge of a large, southern metropolis. His stories, articles, and photos have been featured in several ‘zines and websites and his fiction and other prose continues to be developed through this blog.
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2 Responses to Frankenstein’s Army

  1. Pingback: I DEMAND A REFUND! AND AN APOLOGY! | Danno of the Dead Blog

  2. Pingback: Beautiful Creatures: Frankenstein's Army - Psycho Drive-In

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