Nerd Warning


WARNING: This post is bound to piss off at least one nerd. Discretion is advised.


I am an avid fan of horror and science fiction… clearly. By further promoting this fact I have (grudgingly) accepted my vow of celibacy and I’m okay with that as long as fresh new ideas continue to form and come to light within the genres. That said, I was joking around with someone while watching a documentary about Firefly and its fandom and it occurred to me that some people know nothing about such wonderful things and, as such, are likely to say things that will inevitably draw the ire of fans the world over. As such, here are a few things to avoid:

Asking when season two of Firefly premieres.

Pointing out plot holes and other errors in the original Star Wars trilogy. *

Mispronouncing anything in Klingon.

Saying “They made a book about the movie?”

Calling a “graphic novel” a “comic book.”

Dog earing the page of said “comic book” to mark your place.

Calling “collectibles” “toys” or “dolls.”


Referring to vampires as Draculas. **

Referring to anything from Twilight as a vampire.

Starting a discussion about the speed of zombies.

Saying that Archer is better than Kirk or Picard.

Jar-Jar Binks. ***

How can it be “The Hitchhiker’s Trilogy” if there’s five books?

Suggesting that a remake be made using Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Michael Cera.

Suggesting that a remake be made.

Thinking the remake was better than the original. ****

Hugh Jackman.

Confusing fantasy with horror and or sci-fi. (Fantasy is a whole different post. Trust me.)

Forgetting the words.

Mispronouncing the name of an Elder God.

Confusing Star Wars and Star Trek. ******

This list could go on for a while and I very well may update and add to it at some point in the near future. For now, this will have to do. I’m sure if I spent some more time thinking about it, and I’m sure I will, I could come up with some more. I find it amusing for the most part. If you know one I left out, let me know. More fiction and other stuff coming soon. Well, soon-ish. Okay, maybe soon adjacent. Cool stuff is coming this way, of that you can be sure.



* This will prompt a light saber attack.

** Unless you’re Deadpool.

*** Again, light saber to the face.

**** The remake is never better than the original. Sometimes it’s just as good but it is NEVER better.

****** This will likely result in a riot full of dead Ewoks and Red Shirts.


About Danno

Dan Lee is a freelance writer, critic, independent author and publisher, as well as a horror culture correspondent. His articles, interviews, editorials, and fictional works continue to run on several sites and publications. He is also one of the resurrectionists behind the return of the Nashville Zombie Walk (2017).
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